This is the F.A.Q!
Here are some that readers have sent in! Some of these are actually valid questions, while others are most certainly not. Actually this page should really be called "reader mail".
1. Why is Jon so awesome?
-Jon
That's a good question, Jon! Please enlighten us.
2. My friend keeps telling me he's going to give me "the shocker."
What the fuck is "the shocker?"
-Emma
Ask the Bush twins, or Google image search it! That'll be educational! I swear!
3. Where is this place location wise? Is it meant to be a specific store/region/state?
Well, the place in the comic is more or less a fictional melding of where everybody works/lives. To protect our safety (you know how those internet crazies like to stalk sexy people!) Jon and Chris work at a "video game store" in "Florida" and Jin works at a "media exchange" in "Arizona" and rules the video game department there.
4. What was your creative inspiration behind these comics?
Idiots, mostly.
5. Can I become a character? I wouldn't mind being a stupid customer as I have no doubt played one in real life at one time or another.
Maybe. We could always use some color around here. Zing!
6. Will there be any otter pop related storylines?
-Crawford
Maybe?
7. Do you work in a book store?
Please refer to FAQ #3.
8. Who is this comic meant to appeal to?
Your face.
9. Will you have sex with me?
How much money do you have?
10. Can I send you some ideas for comics?
You certainly can. We may or may not use it, chances are- we probably won't though. And if we do, we won't credit you. That's how the world works. Buck up, champ.
11. Can you send me pictures of yourself, perferably in a wizard's robe?
Jon has a picture of himself dressed as Link and Jin has one dressed as Poison Ivy. But no, dude, wizards are gay.
12. How did you come up with the idea for the comic?
Genius cannot be bridled, it was a survival mechanism. If we didn't have this outlet, actual customers might be perishing right now by our hands.
13. How did all of you meet or get to know each other?
See, there's this magical place called the internet and it is full of porn. This is not an allegory.
14. Why is it called 'Two Monocles'?
Because it's way classier than just one!
15. Colors are pretty?
Yes!
16. Where do babies come from?
I would tell you, but you wouldn't believe me. I'm sure you'll never have to worry about that scenario.
17. How often will you update the comics?
Lately, it's been sporadic at best, but if all is going well in all parallel universes, a new comic will go up every Monday night.
18. Will there be other characters?
Of course!
19. Is this based on real life happenings?
Some of it! Some of it is just our terrible fantasies.
20. What do you guys do for a living?
How many times must we answer this!? Or as Jon would put it we "sell overpriced videogames to unsupervised children who are not old enough to buy them."
21. Will this comic cause seizures?
No, but that's a good idea for a new feature page. Thanks!
22. How hard is it to write and draw everything?
Um, like THIS HARD. Go grab a bowling ball, and squeeze it between your knees and go for a jog with the ball still between your knees. Kinda like that.
23. Are you guys hiring?
Hm. Maybe, but you won't be getting paid, per se. I could definately use a full time pro bono pedicurist.
24. I ordered an xxxl t-shirt and you guys told me to lose some fucking weight? That's mean...
Gosh! I didn't even know we had shirts! Praytell, where did you find this treasure?! I'll need to order mine in an XS, at least.
25. As your friend, if you make money millions of dollars can I sponge off of you? I can be your professional entourage, Ii'm pretty, you'll want me around.
-Costin
Sure. But you'll have to clean my house on your off-time.
26. I hear you are in a kick ass band called AmbassadorKen. Is it true that you and the other member Amber are sisters? Just kidding, my real question is, when will the next rock my socks awesome AmbassadorKen CD be out? And where could I find more information about the highly influencial band AmbassadorKen? Keep those dope ass comics a coming.
-Dave
Excellent question. We kind of....just dissapated over time. We haven't played a show in like, 2 years. We still have plenty of songs though, maybe enough for an EP. Hm. When I reformatted my computer, I lost Reason 2.5 in the process, so that's a career killer for sure. Maybe one day we'll play a farewell show for your birthday. Just let us know which one.
27. What's a monocle?
-June
According to a Google search, it's a political magazine before it's an eyepiece. Hm.
28. Does the "African Swallow" even really exist?
-Cara
Yes. And it lives in your hair! Give it food!
29. Will there be a running theme with pandas... cause dying babies is a funnier subject.
More than likely, panda wise. Dead babies are a favorite joke of mine, so I bet I could snake one in there at some point.
30. Will there be any baby or senior citizen beatings?
-Costin
Hm. Only time will tell. I really wouldn't put it past those two.
31. FUCK U ALLIANEC 4 LYFE
-Lee
Pff! Ok.
32. Where the fuck are my FAQ's?
-Costin
Right here, bro! Duh.
33. Hey, I'm one of Jon's employees. Me and my friends read the comic and I just wanted to say really nice job with the website and the coloring you've done. BTW what server do you play on? Same as Jon's I'd guess. But anyways nice work. Laterz.
-Mark
I don't play on Jon's server, in fact I don't even remember which one it is. I am a terrible friend. I play on Skywall though, and if you want to play with me, you have to be Horde. And thanks. :)
34. Have you ever played the nintendo Wii?! its the perfect video game console. I honestly think that you have you must have played it in a terrible situation... were Cubans holding guns to your head?
-Costin
Everyone else on the planet has a boner for this stupid thing. Lucky for everyone involved, I don't even have a penis!! Besides, I'm too lazy.
Got more? Send 'em over! We'll publish them! (maybe).
